How to Sell a Haunted House

By Grady Hendrix. 5*s.

Publisher’s Synopsis

“When Louise finds out her parents have died, she dreads going home. She doesn’t want to leave her daughter with her ex and fly to Charleston. She doesn’t want to deal with her family home, stuffed to the rafters with the remnants of her father’s academic career and her mother’s lifelong obsession with puppets and dolls. She doesn’t want to learn how to live without the two people who knew and loved her best in the world.

Most of all, she doesn’t want to deal with her brother, Mark, who never left their hometown, gets fired from one job after another, and resents her success. Unfortunately, she’ll need his help to get the house ready for sale because it’ll take more than some new paint on the walls and clearing out a lifetime of memories to get this place on the market. 

But some houses don’t want to be sold, and their home has other plans for both of them…“

Review:

In all honestly, Grady Hendrix is one of the greatest horror authors. I absolutely LOVE his books. He writes some of the creepiest fiction, but with the most well-built characters and semi happy endings. That may be what I love the most. These stories can be truly scary, and How to Sell a Haunted House has been one of my absolute favorites so far. But they always leave me feeling more of a ‘yay—scarred but alive!’ feeling.

The relationship between Louise and Mark and Louise and everyone, really, was interesting to explore. Mother/Daughter relationships are super complex and this explores that in a very first-hand way. It really makes me wonder where Hendrix got the material.

There’s also that toxic relationship situation between siblings that only a horrific series of events can seem to upend. Mark was a selfish prick and Louise was cold for a good reason from my perspective, but it’s crazy how much they both went through, and it makes you wonder if they had only talked, would they have gone through everything they did to the level and extent they did? Probably not. But they were also pitted against each other a lot. Thankfully, they got a second chance. Unfortunately, it didn’t leave them entirely intact.

To be honest, I had zero clue it was going the direction it was, and it’s so hard to talk about the most incredibly creepy parts without giving all of it away, but I will try to discuss a few moments that just really got to me.

Pupkin as a whole. Honestly Hendrix, why? We all have seen this Punch knockoff puppet with its incredibly scary grin, but to make it into something that drags itself across the floor or runs around on its tiny legs and bites/brainwashes people? WOW. Nightmare fuel. I won’t be able to hear a skittering noise without shitting my pants in the future without thinking a vengeful puppet is coming for me.

Pupkin starts a cult: the Mark in College stories. It got so dark, so quick. Puppet collective seemed like such a bad idea—and who would do that kind of show in an elementary school? Glory.

Marionette/Puppet Horde: this was actually kind of funny in the way only Hendrix can make it…or maybe I’m a little more twisted than I thought I was.

Dolls in general—really hit a note with me. Chucky can take a back seat to these.

Hendrix’s My Best Friend’s Exorcism was made into a movie. That was also an excellent book. But making this one into a movie? I’m not sure I could watch it and still sleep. IT by Stephen King was one of my favorite books in high school, but How to Sell a Haunted House has taken up its own corner in the secret little goth section of my soul.