Category: Uncategorized

A letter to myself.

There are so many parts and pieces to healing from trauma that people just don’t know.

Healing from trauma, especially serial trauma, is an incredibly hard journey. This is something we know, something a lot of us live with daily. But what people don’t tell you is that when you are finally working through it, when you’re pealing away the bandaids after the bleeding stops and the scabs have formed, you’re still in an extremely vulnerable state. Sometimes it’s incredibly hard to not peel back those scabs and crawl back into the safety of the “bandaid,” being attached to your body but still somehow separate.

I’m not sure if there’s a true term for that disconnection when you’ve dealt with various forms of abuse throughout your life, but I’m sure it’s something along the lines of ‘incomplete disassociation.’ All I know is that when you begin to float back into your body after a long period of feeling out of it, it feels like a new skin.

However, when you do begin to shake off the shackles of oppressive thoughts and start living for yourself and gaining confidence and are finally ready to start trusting people and molting that old, scarred husk that was a prison of insecurity and fear, there are going to be those you thought cared about you and your well being that are going to do things that make you want to shove yourself back into it because they don’t seem to like what they see, and that’s the new you trying to break itself out like a butterfly. They are going to do things that make you want to sink back into that box that made you so very palatable for them.

You’re got to express new thoughts, new ideas. Tell stories and tales with a confidence that makes them wary because it wasn’t there before, and society doesn’t like a person who has always struggled to find their voice that can suddenly sing a beautiful, loud, and deeply freeing song. It’s startling, and sometimes they’re going to reject the true you, whether consciously or not, and it’s going to hurt. A lot.

It’s going to cause you to rethink relationships with people you really care for because that fresh new body you’ve just spent all that time creating and cleaning and preparing for your fragile new confidence is a vulnerability to you because you’re not fully locked in yet. That trust you’ve work so hard to start giving again will feel like porcelain, cracking under the pressure simply because someone you thought SAW you, someone you trusted and turned to during your journey, has no use for someone who is finding themselves and new ways to express their inner self. It’s going to throw you right back into those oppressive thought bubbles, causing you to be riddled with anxiety, and make you question if you are ever going to be worthy of love.

When you want people to have your back the most, they’re going to disappoint you in ways that hurt deeply and make you feel like you are completely outside again. In the dark. Alone. The blanket of depression will try to creep over you again as it has so many times before. Be patient.

It’s going to be hard to hold onto that light you have kindled in your freshly-washed spirit. They may not even know how much these little cuts hurt you, but they do. They pierce like needles into the hands you’ve scrubbed clean until they were baby soft again. They may not even mean to, but you feel it. And because you’ve spent time deconstructing your shell and your negative thoughts and are still working on finding ways to not blame yourself for how people react to you, you’re going to be able to see your trauma responses more clearly while they’re happening. The windows will be mostly clean because you’re had to do the work in order to find yourself, and it’s going to make you so irrationally angry because you have given them the very trust you have worked so hard grow again, the trust you sculpted like carefully blown glass, kept far from your body until it hardened enough to touch it and give it to someone like the gift it is. You have let them have a front row seat into this new confident you and you are COUNTING ON THEM to help you find your feet again, entrusting them with this gift that has taken you so long to form and handle and wrap…

I don’t want you to stop feeding that fire inside of you just because they let you down, just because they looked at that gift like it was just a trinket to put on a shelf and allow to gather dust. We should be used to people letting us down at this point, shouldn’t we?

Alas, don’t allow yourself to be disheartened. You’re going to have other people who have felt the same pain as you on their own healing journey who will support you and show you they love you no matter what your new brain communicates to the world through your newly budded, fragile lips. They will see that little bubble of trust that you have tried so hard to create, and they will cherish it because they know. They will encapsulate it in iron and place it on their belt because that is a token that deserves to be displayed. And the key is to cling to that feeling of support and to not let yourself down. Let go of those feelings of bitterness and anger that you may have towards those who ultimately just aren’t ready to be inspired by your strength and start their own journeys, and treat your trust and love like the gift it is. Rise above, babe.

In the end, we’re all on a healing journey, and someday you may be able to help them find their legs in a way they couldn’t help you find yours. But you’ll know what to do when that day comes and you’ll clip their hopes to your belt, too. Because you’re amazing and a true wonder to behold. Never forget that. Forge on.

By Lauren Blackwood. Pub date Feb 7, 2023

4.5*. Enjoy with a cup of hot tropical tea, something that makes you feel like it’s straight from the humid recesses of a caribbean island jungle.

PUBLISHER’S SYNOPSIS

“Eighteen-year-old Victoria is a Wildblood. Since she was kidnapped at the age of six and manipulated by the Exotic Lands Touring Company, she’s worked as a tour guide ever since with a team of fellow Wildbloods who take turns using their magic to protect travelers in a Jamaican jungle teeming with ghostly monsters.

When the boss denies Victoria an earned promotion to team leader in favor of Dean, her backstabbing ex, she’s determined to prove herself. Her magic may be the most powerful on the team, but she’s not the image the boss wants to send their new client, Thorn, a renowned goldminer determined to reach an untouched gold supply deep in the jungle.

Thorn is everything Victoria isn’t – confident, impossibly kind, and so handsome he leaves her speechless. And when he entrusts the mission to her, kindness turns to mutual respect, turns to affection, turns to love. But the jungle is treacherous, and between hypnotic river spirits, soul-devouring women that shed their skin like snakes, and her ex out for revenge, Victoria has to decide – is promotion at a corrupt company really what she wants?

A fierce, lush fantasy by New York Times bestselling author Lauren Blackwood, Wildblood tells the story of a girl who must find the strength to defeat the demons of the jungle as well as her own to find where she truly belongs.”

HEART & SPIRIT (REVIEW)

I had the absolute pleasure of reading Lauren Blackwood’s Within These Wicked Walls and was overjoyed when I was approved for her upcoming fantasy novel, Wildblood. Put this one in your TBR! 

Some overarching themes may be TW: references to sexual assault, overt tones of racism, and violence. 

Victoria is a Wildblood. They are a special group of people who can turn blood into weapons or manipulate it and she is particularly good at what she does. Like her, the people who “work” for her company are mostly people of color, feared for their abilities. Also like her, most of the Wildbloods in The Company were kidnapped or taken from their parents. Their specific type of magic holds purpose in what they do, and that’s to help tourists or others through the jungles in Jamaica, which are populated by deadly insects, bloodthirsty beasts, and dangerous spirits that lure you to your death or even steal your face if you don’t know how to properly treat them and avoid them. It gives value to their abilities, but it’s also the only existence for Wildbloods. They are paid, but not enough to ever escape, and the only option would be going through the jungle if the guards don’t kill you first. Even then, the world outside can be so dangerous when your body was born with magic that not everyone understands.

Victoria’s main driving force is to get promoted so she can be paid enough to get her charge, Bunny, out of the company. He struggles with his magic and Victoria is afraid that he will stretch himself too far with it, which can be deadly for Wildbloods. However, the promised promotion is no where in site and instead she is given a deal. If she helps Dean, her former friend turned mortal enemy, on the next expedition and makes him look good, she will have her promotion. However, the next mission isn’t like all the others. The newest tourist group is headed by a man named Thorn, a very wealthy person of color whose fortune came from mining. Instead of the usual transport through the jungle on roads that are travelled often by clients of The Company, Thorn needs to get to the center of the jungle. However, the jungle doesn’t take politely to intruders and will not tolerate the intrusion this group brings. 

This mission is unlike any other she has been on before, and three warnings are given over the course of the trip that make Victoria beg both Thorn and Dean to stop the journey, despite the punishment that she might get from it. However strong Victoria’s connection to the jungle and its creatures, it won’t be enough to stop the death, deception, and danger that they are all in. As things fall apart, Victoria must acknowledge who she truly is if she is going to get herself and the people she cares about back to safety. 

This book was filled with so many twists and turns and mysteries that opened up like beautiful tropical flowers. It’s so hard to write a review without revealing too much, and there are so many things that happen throughout the pages that are surprising and heartbreaking and also beautiful. Discovering where Victoria came from and how she came to be in the company was my favorite part, but you don’t discover it until far into the book, but it explains so much.

I highly recommend this book!

Thank you to St. Martin’s Press/Wednesday Books and Netgalley for the advanced copy in exchange for this fair and honest review. 

By Olivia Dade, Pub Date 11/15/22

5*s Best enjoyed when you’re a general person who loves love in all its messiness. Read on, I’ll explain!

PUBLISHER’S SYNOPSIS

“Maria’s one-night-stand—the thick-thighed, sexy Viking of a man she left without a word or a note—just reappeared. Apparently, Peter’s her surly Gods of the Gates co-star, and they’re about to spend the next six years filming on a desolate Irish island together. She still wants him…but he now wants nothing to do with her.

Peter knows this role could finally transform him from a forgettable character actor into a leading man. He also knows a failed relationship with Maria could poison the set, and he won’t sabotage his career for a woman who’s already walked away from him once. Given time, maybe they can be cooperative colleagues or friends—possibly even best friends—but not lovers again. No matter how much he aches for her.

For years, they don’t touch off-camera. But on their last night of filming, their mutual restraint finally shatters, and all their pent-up desire explodes into renewed passion. Too bad they still don’t have a future together, since Peter’s going back to Hollywood, while Maria’s returning to her native Sweden. She thinks she needs more than he can give her, but he’s determined to change her mind, and he’s spent the last six years waiting. Watching. Wanting.

His shipwrecked Swede doesn’t stand a chance.”

REVIEW:

I have relatively recently become a huge fan of Olivia Dade, namely when I was approved for All the Feels, the second book of this same series. I quickly had to add Spoiler Alert to my library and absolutely devoured it. I wasn’t sure I would love this one to the same level I loved the others, but I was very wrong. As an extra extra luscious lady myself, there aren’t too many books written about people with our body type but Olivia Dade has been an amazing and very much welcome addition to the contemporary romance scene.

Shipwrecked follows the story of Peter and Maria, two plus sized stars of the series that brought us the heroes in the first two books of the series. It starts with a one night stand that turns into a series of somewhat hilarious events that lands them both on an island off the coast of Ireland as romantic costars in a highly rated fantasy show. Maria and Peter, who still secretly have the hots for one another, must navigate the ins and outs of a working relationship that includes body shaming by producers, a dolphin with a penchant toward violence, and salty licorice. 

What I loved about this was that Maria was totally okay with being a luscious Swedish bombshell, while Peter had the true struggles with accepting his robust body. Regardless, I am a lover of large men and loved that Dade decided to bring these costars to my ereader screen. The struggles they faced as lovers later (Spoiler Alert?—this is a joke. If  I’m spoiling this for you do you even read romance?) are all regarding how they will maintain their romance and coming to terms with compromise and self-acceptance, respectively. All things that everyone in all their bodies tend to struggle with. 

As much as I say that I love this as a luscious person, I think those who are leaner would also enjoy it very much. The struggles that fat people face are often the same that skinny people tend to face. Self-acceptance, compromise, belief in our abilities as humans, how to navigate potentially long distance situations, how to be in a relationship. That’s what I loved most about this installment. It really explores those issues in a cogent and important way that is universal. So if you aren’t sure of yourself, or you’re lean, or you’re luscious or you just want a fun romp filled with broody heroes and herring-wielding ladies of the gorgeous type, pick this up. Dade gets you. 

Thank you so very much to Netgalley, Avon and Harper Voyager, and Olivia Dade for the advanced copy in exchange for this review. It was a fun couple of days and I can’t wait for the next!

By Amelie Wen Zhao, Pub date 1/3/23

5*s. Best enjoyed if you love some amazing fantasy folklore retellings from our Far Eastern neighbors. 

PUBLISHER’S SYNOPSIS:

“Once, Lan had a different name. Now she goes by the one the Elantian colonizers gave her when they invaded her kingdom, killed her mother, and outlawed her people’s magic. She spends her nights as a songgirl in Haak’gong, a city transformed by the conquerors, and her days scavenging for what she can find of the past. Anything to understand the strange mark burned into her arm by her mother in her last act before she died.

The mark is mysterious—an untranslatable Hin character—and no one but Lan can see it. Until the night a boy appears at her teahouse and saves her life.

Zen is a practitioner—one of the fabled magicians of the Last Kingdom. Their magic was rumored to have been drawn from the demons they communed with. Magic believed to be long lost. Now it must be hidden from the Elantians at all costs.

When Zen comes across Lan, he recognizes what she is: a practitioner with a powerful ability hidden in the mark on her arm. He’s never seen anything like it—but he knows that if there are answers, they lie deep in the pine forests and misty mountains of the Last Kingdom, with an order of practitioning masters planning to overthrow the Elantian regime.

Both Lan and Zen have secrets buried deep within—secrets they must hide from others, and secrets that they themselves have yet to discover. Fate has connected them, but their destiny remains unwritten. Both hold the power to liberate their land. And both hold the power to destroy the world. 

Now the battle for the Last Kingdom begins.”

REVIEW:

When I tell you that this book blew me away, I’m not kidding. I absolutely adored it. It took me a couple of chapters to get into it, but after that it absolutely FLEW by. I am in a major East Asian folklore retellings phase right now, though I have been a fan since I first read The Ghost Bride by Yangsze Choo. My interest was rekindled by Elizabeth Lim’s recent Six Crimson Cranes and Blood of Stars duologies. Perhaps that makes me slightly more biased, but if you enjoy stories like that, you will love this. 

Song of Silver, Flame Like Night explores severe colonialism and culture erasure from the viewpoint of the oppressed. That alone is a good reason to read this, but the intensity does not stop at the violence. The Elantians, who are colonizing the Hin lands, bring a strange magic that is pulled from metals as opposed to the magic of the Hin people, which is based on qi-the natural energies of the world, which must keep a balance. The Hin people pre-conquer believed in keeping qi in balance, and also believed in the four Demon Gods who used to rule the land. The Silver Dragon, The Phoenix, the Azure Tiger, and the Black Turtle. These demons were purportedly long trapped, but those who possessed the dark qi of the demon gods wielded great but uncontrollable power. The first chapter goes through the history, legends, and lore and adds depth into the world build and aids in the reader’s understanding of the need for balance and care by practitioners of qi-related magic. 

In the beginning of the book, Lan, orphaned at a young age, works for the largest tea house in the capital, Haak’gong as a song girl. Life as a song girl is very precarious and Lan, a strong and rebellious sort, soon finds herself in hot water when a Elantian soldier threatens her and she unwittingly kills him with magic she didn’t know she had possessed. She is saved by a boy in hiding as a Hin court employee, Zen, who secretly is a qi practitioner and part of the last hidden school of magic. 

Soon, Lan finds herself in the secret school training. However, as the threats to the last remaining bastion of Hin culture loom ever closer, Lan and Zen must find the secrets behind the mark left on her by her mother before her death at the hands of the Elantian Winter Magician. It may be their only hope to saving their people. Danger lies ahead, and a hunt for the four demon gods begins. 

The fantasy elements of this book are incredible, the writing is absolutely engrossing, and you can feel and practically see the emotions and settings of this book. I give major props to Wen Zhao. I didn’t think I could be as captivated by this as I was and it was so much better than I could have anticipated. I had this on my list for 2023 books I was interested in, and that list was super short this year (MAYBE 10 books deep). I was overjoyed to get an advanced copy of it and finished it so very quickly in December, 2022. Yes, my review is late, but that should tell you how great this was that has stuck in my brain so firmly. In other words, it’s been released and if you don’t have it in your cart right now or even have it already on its way, you are sorely missing out. PLUS, IT’S FRIDAY. You have the whole weekend to explore this brand new world!

Genuine thanks to Netgalley, Amelie Wen Zhao, and Random House for the advanced copy in exchange for this sincerely honest review. I can’t wait for more books like this!

By Gloria Duke. Pub date 10/4/2022

4*s. Best enjoyed when you’re luscious and very much non undead…or you are. Either way, you’ll like it.

PUBLISHER’S SYNOPSIS

“A paranormal Dumplin’ for adults, When Life Gives You Vampires is part a journey of body positivity, part a story about learning how to accept love at face value, and part a hysterical romcom told through a paranormal lens.

Twenty-five year old Lily Baines is used to waking up hungover, overweight, and underemployed. Waking up with fangs? Not so much. But when it turns out a little light necking has more serious consequences than she ever imagined, Lily’s determined to get to the bottom of it.

Tristan hadn’t meant to turn Lily-it’s against vampire law-but now that she’s here, they need to team up to save their hides. They strike a truce, fending off other vampires, Lily’s work-rival-turned-slayer, and her mother’s tone-deaf romance and fitness advice-all while Lily faces down her insecurities about the fact that she lives in a diet-obsessed world with a body that will never age, never die, and never change. Can she learn to love the (plus size) woman she’ll be forever more?”

REVIEW

I’m not going to lie. As a luscious lady myself, I’ve often thought of how becoming Undead would affect my mindset on how I feel about my body. I honestly love that Gloria Duke wrote an entire book about it, because as much as I’ve thought about it I’ve never really talked to anyone about it. It for sure felt like I was doing that while reading this, and she said ALL the things I was thinking. It’s hard to live in a plus sized body as it is, but a plus sized body forever? 

Honestly, the things that we worry about when it comes to having a plus sized body go beyond just acceptance to our health. But if we’re undead, what’s the honest to the gods reasons for worrying about it and not accepting it? I loved the journey that Lily went on throughout this book. Finding love not only externally but internally, and accepting her new strength and resilience. Not only that, but also realizing that the same judgements she held for herself were just as true of those with more societally accepted bodies. Women are just made to feel like crap for what we look like, undead or otherwise. 

All that said, the romance felt super pure, and the adventure that came along with it was all the more amazing. Lily is a total badass, and no one in the undead set really used her looks against her, which put a real warm and fuzzy vibe in my very un-undead heart. 

Thank you to Netgalley and Sourcebooks Casablanca for this amazing book. I really appreciated the way this material was handled. It’s honest but far from impartial. 

By Rin Chupeco. Pub’d Oct 4, 2022.

4.5*s. Best enjoyed on a deserted island.

Publisher’s Synopsis:

“Pristine beaches, lush greenery, and perfect weather, the island of Kisapmata would be the vacation destination…if not for the curse. The Philippine locals speak of it in hushed voices and refuse to step foot on the island. They know the lives it has claimed. They won’t be next.

A Hollywood film crew won’t be dissuaded. Legend claims a Dreamer god sleeps, waiting to grant unimaginable powers in exchange for eight sacrifices. The producers are determined to document the evidence. And they convince Alon, a local teen, to be their guide.

Within minutes of their arrival, a giant sinkhole appears, revealing a giant balete tree with a mummified corpse entwined in its gnarled branches. And the crew start seeing strange visions. Alon knows they are falling victim to the island’s curse. If Alon can’t convince them to leave, there is no telling who will survive. Or how much the Dreamer god will destroy…“

Review:

The Sacrifice is an amazing horror story set on a legendary and terrifying island in the Philippines. Kisipmata is a place of superstition and fear for locals and has long been tied to a tremendous amount of death. The one local who seems unafraid of the island is a fisher named Alon. When a film crew shows up hoping to search for lost treasure on the haunted island, Alon is asked to guide them and is offered a hefty sum in order to do so. However, despite the warnings that they continue to get from the island, and no matter how Alon tries to warn them, they do not heed. Alon has special ties to the island, but they also develop special ties to the teenage son of one of the producers, which makes him invested in the fate of the crew. 

Quickly, things turn for the crew. People disappear. Faceless figures appear amongst the trees, familiar voices of the crew’s loved ones begin whispering in their ears, and the very topography of the island seems to change overnight, including a sinkhole that reveals a balete tree twisted around a mummified body. When they experience a storm that doesn’t seem to be on anyone else’s radar, it effectively traps the entire crew. As bodies begin to pile up, the intentions of some members of the team are revealed. In a terrifying crescendo, we begin to learn the secrets that lay under the surface of the island. Will Alon be able to protect those worthy of rescue or will the island and the Dreamer god claim everyone?

I thought The Sacrifice was super good. I definitely enjoyed the ride. I also loved that Alon, as the main character, was gender neutral. It was a great form of representation. It was also just a great horror novel. The setting was lush and incredibly creepy and the various twists were pretty unexpected. Rin Chupeco has an excellent ability to creepy out readers while also giving some of the characters the proper comeuppance. I mean, if an entire culture of people tell you not to go to an island because it has supernatural significance, don’t go! Respect other people’s cultures. Good sakes. 

Thanks to Netgalley and Sourebooks Fire for the advanced copy in exchange for this honest review. 

By Sophie Gonzales, Pub Date 11/29/22

4.5*s, Best enjoyed when you need a taste of revenge with a delightful, heaping help of sapphic romance!

Publisher’s Synopsis:

“It’s been two years since Maya’s ex-boyfriend cheated on her, and she still can’t escape him: his sister married the crown prince of a minor European country and he captured hearts as her charming younger brother. If the world only knew the real Jordy, the manipulative liar who broke Maya’s heart.

Skye Kaplan was always cautious with her heart until Jordy said all the right things and earned her trust. Now his face is all over the media and Skye is still wondering why he stopped calling.

When Maya and Skye are invited to star on the reality dating show Second-Chance Romance, they’re whisked away to a beautiful mansion—along with four more of Jordy’s exes— to compete for his affections while the whole world watches. Skye wonders if she and Jordy can recapture the spark she knows they had, but Maya has other plans: exposing Jordy and getting revenge. As they navigate the competition, Skye and Maya discover that their real happily ever after is nothing they could have scripted.”

Review:

Never Ever Getting Back Together is the reality show turned revenge plot turned sapphic love story that we’ve all been craving. It’s like reading The Bachelor, but is super enjoyable if you hate the Bachelor. 

Maya and Skye both deserved better, but they got Jordy. Now, a couple years later, Jordy is now a much beloved royalty-adjacent figure with fans everywhere due to his sister’s own royal love match. Due to his popularity, a film crew has decided to make him the star of Second-Chance Romance, a show where Jordy reunites with his exes in hopes that he can find love with someone who once cared for him before all the fame got in the way (cue gagging sounds). 

What the world doesn’t know about Jordy is that he’s a liar and a cheater, and Maya wants nothing to do with the show at first. However, she and her sister realize this may be the perfect chance at revenge—out Jordy as the a-hole he is in front of the entire world by going on the show and letting him have it! 

When Maya arrives in Chalonne, not only is she greeted by her nemesis, Jordy, but also Skye, the girl he cheated on Maya with! And now, Maya and Skye discover that they are more than just stuck in this mansion together, they’re also roommates. What Jordy didn’t count on was that they would be able to put aside their differences long enough to compare timelines and Skye finds out that Maya isn’t the crazy ex that Jordy had portrayed her as, and she’s actually a lovely person, if somewhat compulsive in ways that Skye is definitely not. 

As Maya and Skye team up against their mutual enemy, they begin to feel like more than just friends, and high fives turn into hand holding and talking into something more intimate. As things progress with their revenge plot, so does their relationship. However, as they near the end of their window of time together, decisions need to be made. Is revenge really worth what may come next? And are they willing to give up what they have gained in pursuit of it?

Thank you to Netgalley, Wednesday Books (St. Martin’s Press), and Sophie Gonzales for the advanced copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review. 

By Holly Jackson. Pub date 11/29/22

5*s. Best enjoyed at night in the quiet, when you don’t know who could be out there.

Publisher’s Synopsis: 

“Red Kenny is on a road trip for spring break with five friends: Her best friend – the older brother – his perfect girlfriend – a secret crush – a classmate – and a killer. 

When their RV breaks down in the middle of nowhere with no cell service, they soon realize this is no accident. They have been trapped by someone out there in the dark, someone who clearly wants one of them dead.

With eight hours until dawn, the six friends must escape, or figure out which of them is the target. But is there a liar among them? Buried secrets will be forced to light and tensions inside the RV will reach deadly levels. Not all of them will survive the night. . . . “

Review: 

Holly Jackson grabs our eyeballs from the jump with this one. I was immediately there on that road trip with the whole crew and stayed there with them all night. I basically read this book in real time. 

Red is an unreliable narrator who has secrets. Then again, so does everyone else in that RV at the time. Her best friend Maddy, their friends Simon and Arthur, and their chaperones on this doomed spring break trip, Maddy’s older brother, Oliver and his girlfriend, Reyna. Every. Last. One. 

When they get lost on the way, they find themselves on the backroads with a flat tire in the middle of absolute nowhere. However, they soon find that the flat tire is no accident. Within moments of fixing it, all four of their tires are immediately shot out. Someone in the fields around them has a gun. 

The group soon finds themselves stuck in the RV trying to come up with a plan on how to escape. Until they begin to hear a voice from a walkie talkie that tells them that they have until morning to reveal the identity of the person with a certain secret. 

But who is it? As the night wears on, the group realizes that everyone in the RV seems to be hiding something.

Red has a feeling that this has to do with her plan. The plan she has to be able to get her dad help. A plan to help Red herself go to college, something that has been out of her reach since her mother, the Chief of Police, was executed in cold blood a couple years before. But there’s no way they could know, right? And she can’t reveal the plan. The plan is the only thing she has that can help her, the only way she can get revenge for her mom. 

However, as things begin to unravel and logic takes a vacation, long hidden secrets begin to chip away at the group. Before long, they realize that fate has unknowingly woven its sticky web around the six friends, and one will not be able to get out of its clutches alive. 

A lot of the characters in this book were sympathetic, with one major exception and I absolutely hated them with a passion. I ended up yelling at my Kindle a few times in utter exasperation that they were getting away with their irrational and harmful behavior. I love books like this, ones that bring out my passionate side. I absolutely adored it. 

Thank you so much Random House, Delacourte Press, and Netgalley for the advanced copy of Five Survive by Holly Jackson in exchange for this fair and honest review. 

by Grady Hendrix

Best enjoyed if you’ve ever been a teenage girl and understand how that feels.

Publisher’s Synopsis:

“Abby and Gretchen have been best friends since fifth grade, when they bonded over a shared love of E.T., roller-skating parties, and scratch-and-sniff stickers. But when they arrive at high school, things change. Gretchen begins to act….different. And as the strange coincidences and bizarre behavior start to pile up, Abby realizes there’s only one possible explanation: Gretchen, her favorite person in the world, has a demon living inside her. And Abby is not about to let anyone or anything come between her and her best friend. With help from some unlikely allies, Abby embarks on a quest to save Gretchen. But is their friendship powerful enough to beat the devil?”

REVIEW:

I’ve previously read Hendrix’s Horrorstör and I highly recommend it. However, I’ll also be adding this one into the Highly Recommended Horror category. 

This book is about Abby and Gretchen above all else. A friendship that couldn’t be conquered, two inseparable girls on their walk through high school. However, after one ill-fated night at a friend’s, something changed drastically for them, and you can guess what it is from the title. This book is about their friendship and loyalty and the lengths to which a true friend will go to save you from whatever darkness may come to be in your life—or in you. 

In natural Hendrix fashion, this book finds places for lightness in dark material and takes itself very seriously without taking itself too seriously. I really felt for Abby through this whole thing. If you’ve ever been a teen girl or have been made to feel like an outsider, you will totally get why I call this book Next Level Horrifying. It definitely tapped into all my teenage insecurities and fear of being left outside again. It also delves into body horror and betrayal and the other fears that affect us every day. Hendrix has his finger surprisingly on the pulse of what it means to be a teenage girl and the lengths that some of us will go to fit in. I don’t know if that was intentional, but it definitely tapped into some deep seated fear and resentment I had growing up. I saw myself in Abby. I’ve had friendships that I would literally fight for in the same ways. 

I’ve had this book on my shelf for over a year, always wanting to pick it up and read it, but I had a feeling that it would happen. I would get so involved in this book I wouldn’t be able to put it down. And I wasn’t wrong. It was so good, so scary, and so full of mysteries that my curious mind needed answers for. We all can tell from the title that an exorcism takes place, which obviously means ‘demon’, but watching the dawning horror in our heroine’s mind  as she slowly discovered what was really going on was a deliciously satisfying journey. And despite what happened to her, she kept fighting for her friends even when she was being sabotaged and tormented in whatever ways the being that was wearing her bestie as a skin suit could without giving themselves away. Now, whether or not she triumphed is not something I am going to reveal here. I’ve read and enjoyed plenty of books where the ending doesn’t work out the way I wanted it to that I still recommend to this day because heartbreak is a part of life. You’ll need to read that for yourself. 

If you are in the mood for some good fast-paced horror full of friendship and fight, pick this up asap. 

Hey all!

With my life how it’s been going lately, I’ve been WAY behind on my reviews. I have a wonderful full time job and am getting my second bachelor’s (my first is in History, this one is accounting, which has been my actual career for awhile), along with running my own mini business making and selling bookmarks on the side (a huge stress reliever for me, but if you’re interested feel free to pop over to Always Lost in Words Etsy shop). I’ve also had a lot of loss recently and lost most of my drive due to grief, which I am now starting to get back. It hasn’t stopped me from my escapist reading, but it’s been a real dagger in the side of my reviews, which were to keep my research/report skills sharp.

However, there’s nothing like grief to show you what is important, and I want this to be fun for you and I. This is obviously a hobby/passion for me so I don’t want it to turn into job and it’s been feeling that way. I am going to be changing how I review. I will be providing the publisher-provided snapshot of the book and will be doing a review of the things I love about it rather than my own synopsis. I’ve been experimenting with this the last few posts, and I really enjoy telling readers the best parts/parts that could be better. I’d rather be positive and come with a good ole compliment sandwich than try to rehash the entire book and worry about letting loose some major spoilers. I am going to work on honing my entertainment skills and cut down on the perfunctory reporting. I want you to read the book, not my homework.

I’m super excited to make this happen. I will also provide some similar book titles after the review in case you want to explore more like it. I’ll be pulling some suggestions from other sites. I will also do some categorical lists of books I’ve read in a certain genre that I really enjoyed and some books I have my eye on that are similar. Right now, I’m reading some lovely, light-hearted witchy contemporary romances in honor of spooky season! I think that will be a fun way to spread the reading love. I also would ADORE suggestions. I’m always up for recommendations. Some future lists will also include survival thrillers (I love the ones where a teenager is lost in the woods with zero knowledge and has to survive), books that shaped my reading, favorite high fantasy, contemporary romances featuring luscious ladies, historical spy romance, favorite YA horror, favorite 90s/00s horror, dystopia, etc. Lots of exciting things coming that I can’t wait to share!

I’ve really appreciated the support I’ve received so far. There are only a few of you, but every person person who follows and like button pressed has been a “keep going” sign to me, and I seriously love all of you for it! I hope I can continue to provide useful reader-based content and can be a blog you want to share.

Always,

Lady Nightwolf